Seriously

I wish I had a best friend. And no, not a guy who is also a best friend, but just a bff. I wish I had a friend who knew most of the people I knew and I could tell secrets to...someone I can be myself with. Ugh, in all my years I've never really developed that kind of friendship with anyone...

What was supposed to be a blog about "The journey to a new me" turned out to be another blog about all my complaints (mainly about my ex - but I already had a whole blog dedicated to that previously.) Time to change things around.

I'm actually going to focus on this journey to a new me. Or, rather, the journey to finding myself. 

So, where to start? As we all know, for a while, I have been just clueless and totally depressed about what will come of the future. To top things, off, I am going through a really tough break-up with someone I've been with for 3 years. This calls for a recipe for disaster, right?

Well it seemed so. But I've got to change my perspective around. I have realized that the process of finding oneself is a long and hard one. Finding oneself is perhaps one of the biggest outbreaks/epiphanies anyone can ever experience - so might as well make this experience worthwhile.

So while I am not at that end stage of having found myself - not even close to it - I can say that I am making slow, progressive steps to better myself.

I am still continuing my education... in fact, with the looks of it, I should be graduating on time! But not to get too excited too soon, although I may be graduating on time, I am not guaranteed any job/career in my field. Heck, I still don't even know what I want to do.

I am slowly accepting that I do not need a man to fill a void. For far too long, I have relied on one man to do practically everything for/with me. And though I am thankful for everything he has done, it is time for me to start learning how to stand up on my own two feet. Things haven't been easy these days - in fact, things probably would be easier to deal with if I still had him by my side - but I need to learn independence (thought that too, is limited because I still live with my parents.) At this point in my life, it really is best to be single.... so I can truly focus on myself. All I can say to him is, "Thanks for the memories. I miss 'em sometimes, but I can do without." <--- Easier said than done though (but I'm improving.)

I'm making new friends as well as getting closer with family members. The world has so much to offer, including people. It's nice to spend time with others, and not always with your significant other.

Lastly, I am [always] on this continuous path to strengthen my relationship with Christ. I have been straying away from Him by being consumed in this secular world. Once I really learn to let go of the world, I can fully embrace God's grace. I can't say enough how blessed I am despite being a sinner, and for that I continue to thank Him. I continue to ask Him for guidance... to make better decisions for myself, to learn patience, to learn how to love others and more. Once I let go and let God, I will be at mental peace - the one thing I truly want to achieve.

So, good luck to me on this journey. I can't wait to see what He's got in store for me.