Going back to my old ways of getting tired of/getting annoyed by Jayson easily.

Since whatever is going on between us is undefined, there are blurred lines about expectations for each other.

Well, for Jayson, he expects love, respect, appreciation and blahhh.
I, however, expect so much more.

And the reason I expect so much - and perhaps too much - is because I AM NOT HIS GIRLFRIEND. I feel like he still has a whole lot more to prove to me. And I am not liking the fact that he has gotten way too comfortable with me again... maybe that's why he thinks he can act the way he does.

But you know what, I only have myself to blame..... because I am the one who allowed him to get this close again, only to be disappointed in the end.

Until I come to some miraculous epiphany that I should just accept him for who he is, nothing he does is good enough for me. And that's the sad truth. Call me shallow or whatever, but I don't give a flying fuck. I am not entitled or obligated to show the kind of love, respect, appreciation - or whatever - that he wants out of a girlfriend. HELL NO.

Honestly, if you think about, we're more like best friends with benefits. 'Cuz I know that I, for one hand, do not want to give him any crazy emotional attachment that he seeks. I only want him when I want him, and if I don't, I kick him to the curb.