Update

I don't even know where to begin.....

I'm always thankful for the present situation(s) I'm in, but I feel like things could be better. Let me explain further:

For one, I'm extremely financially unstable. However, I thank God for the wonderful part-time opportunities I'm given. Also, I've been interviewed for Modells, so I hope I get the job. It seems though, that all the money I make disappears in a heartbeat - just on gas and food alone. It's very frustrating to not have any side money for miscellaneous things... but I'll live.

I'm also in a rut trying to get my fall semester set. I've only got 4 classes (12 credits) signed up so far, but I need 15. I'm really hoping to get an internship to fill in the rest of the credits and to actually build up experience in my field. I've also got to work my butt off to bring my GPA up so that I do not have my scholarship revoked. Thankfully I've been given a probationary period to bring up my GPA and to have my semester still paid for - actually, I never double checked so I need to get on that, eeeek. Lord I'm gonna need lots of help this fall!

*And of course, I have to rant about my relationship.*
Jayson and I are doing fine, actually. And by fine I mean, we're always going through a roller coaster of emotions - but at the end of the day, we still love each other. In fact, we are pronounced boyfriend and girlfriend again! Yay! That didn't come easily, though. It took months for me to even accept the title of girlfriend again - because of reasons. As usual, there are things he and I could both work and improve on, but it's all a part of the learning process! I think we're great. Even during the times when I hate his guts. However... our sex life has been kinda weird. I find myself a lot of the times not getting easily wet for him like I used to - and that only happens when I'm not not feelin' him so much (like pre-breakup days.) Besides the distractions of life, what is going on with me? Am I at that stage again where I don't feel as emotionally and physically connected with him like before? It often pains me when we have sex, and it shouldn't be that way. And the more we keep having sex while I'm in this condition (not getting wet easily or getting dry too quickly), the higher the risk of me getting a yeast infection again. I don't want to go through that again :/ I hope my body goes back to normal - I guess that'll come when things between me and Jayson get better and circumstances change. Stress has played a big role in my odd bodily functions. Could it also be because of his weight gain that's causing me to be less responsive sexually? Could it be because sex has become mechanical rather than spontaneous and romantic? Perhaps it's a combination of factors. Whatever it is, I hope things get better.

Anywho, things just really have been stressful for me and Jayson, especially with the whole financial shit. There's so much we want to do but cannot because of our financial situations. Although Jayson has his degree, it's difficult for him to find a steady job. Oh, the struggle! Gotta love it, right?

We're gonna get through this. I just hope in the midst of this painstaking era of our lives, that we are still able to make quality time for each other and keep the spark alive.