Image

I should be reading but... I can't stop thinking about how much I dislike Jayson's new image. I literally told him I'm never getting back with him for as long as he decides to wear that ugly ass earring - not just around me, but around others too. I've expressed to him before how I felt about guys who wear earrings. I guess he doesn't fucking care. lol. -__-

It's funny because one would expect that since I'm the one who initiated the break-up, I'd be going wild and enjoying my single life and trying out new things. But no, it's the complete opposite. Since we broke up, Jayson was the one going out more, while I decided to stay home more. Jayson was the one who took up drinking while I avoided it. Jayson experimented - and is still experimenting - with his image (new hair, earring, etc) while I tried to stay simple and embrace my natural side more.

Ugh I hope this is just a phase. I like the old Jayson a whole lot more than the post-breakup Jayson. He was so handsome with a nice short but spiked hairstyle and no earring. It was more simple.

I mean, let's put it this way: a visible earring on a guy is like me having a nose piercing (or a piercing any part of my face.) How would he feel if I got one? Idk, maybe I'm making a big deal out of this for no reason but I don't care. I stand firm when I say I refuse to date a guy who wears earrings.

Then again, I don't plan on getting back with him anytime soon still. Maybe that's why he's so effing comfortable wearing that shit. The more I think about it, the more annoyed I get by him and the more I think of reasons why I still don't want to be with him right now. For example, he needs to chill out with his hormones. He keeps getting sexual with me, and I keep telling him to calm down with that, but he doesn't listen. Was it a mistake to have allowed him to see me after only a month? I know I missed him a lot and all, but now that we're becoming close again, it seems like maybe things are moving a bit too fast. *Sigh* I don't know what to do. I'm glad that we're friends again, but I don't want it to reach to the point where I find myself constantly annoyed by him because he's being too pushy and mushy.

Why does it seem like whether we're in a relationship or not, I always find myself having so many issues with Jayson?' I feel myself going back to the easily annoyed Carla.. but I shouldn't 'cuz we just recently became cool again. Maybe it would have been best to not have seen him so soon. A month of space is nothing now that I think about it.