Best Friend

I honestly wish I had one. Throughout my life, I've always just made "temporary" best friends. Either they moved away, eventually went to different schools, or somewhere down the line we just fell off. Take Tammi for example, yeah - we used to be "best friends"... but after high school, we slowly drifted... she had different interests and so did I, and a number of other factors that caused us to become a bit distant. Don't get me wrong though, we still hang out here and there and share as much of what's going on with each of us as possible - but not at the deeper level I want.

I wish I had a best friend who I can be myself around; someone who accepts my weirdness (yes, I'm very weird), my sense of humor, my morals and values, and more without having to critically judge me (I know, best friends are comfortable enough to make fun of each other, but I would never want it to reach the point where he/she takes my joke too seriously or vice versa.) Anywho, I just want someone who accepts me.

Honestly, my mom is my best friend. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, but sometimes I wish I had someone around my age to be able to share that bond with. My mom listens to all my problems, tells me hers, comforts me when I'm feeling down and always gives me the best kind of advice she can. But, there are times when I just can't share some specific things with her..... yet there is literally no one else I can turn to. My family members are in their own little worlds, and I don't feel comfortable sharing my life stories with just any random friend. There are times when I miss my ex because he actually was my best friend and more - honestly the bestest friend I've ever had - and now, I don't have that anymore. I have random urges to just talk to someone and babble on and on about nothing, but I can't. I live in a full house, yet I still feel so lonely most of the time. I'm trying so hard to just stick it out and deal with this unspoken loneliness, but it's not that easy. Who knew I could ever miss a person this much? It sucks, but I know it's for the better. *Sigh* :(